Sharing is Caring

So, a new school year has begun, and while many of his classmates are the same, Little A has a new set of teachers.

As always, the first few weeks are all about finding a balance. Praying no untoward behaviours crop up or recur, and that the learning continues apace, positively and enjoyably.

It was with trepidation that I opened a very long text message from Little A's main teacher one month into classes. Normally communications from teachers involve issues that need to be addressed as soon as possible.

This message was to tell me something wonderful. One of Little A's classmates, an older boy in an IEP class who joins the Grey Fours for last period, was crying. This happens quite often, and sometimes can be disruptive to lessons ongoing. Today though, it happened during free time, and the teachers saw Little A give this classmate a sensory toy. Thinking he was just returning the toy that the crying boy had dropped, they didn't react.

But then they saw Little A hand crying classmate a second toy, and pat him on the leg the way he did to himself when he needed comforting. And when Little A saw crying classmate mouthing the toy, he grabbed a third toy and made to put it in crying classmate's mouth, since this seemed to calm him down.

The teachers were touched and pleased to see this type of interaction between two non-verbal children, both of whom fall within the moderate to severe category on the spectrum. They might not interact typically, but it was clear that there was awareness, and sensitivity on another's emotional needs.

A+ for my Little A today. I am a proud mama. 

School Grey Four

August is upon us again, and this year marks Little A's fifth at his school. As student number 1, his birthday coincides with their anniversary, but since they started with a summer program in 2012, regular school only began a couple of months later.

Last year's troupe of teachers were amazing, and so was Little A's Holistic Program and its implementation. More so than in all the years prior, he made marked improvements across all areas, and we hope, and pray, this continues.

Summer was fun, but Little A, now 10, was very eager to get back to work, and in the few days' holiday constantly reminded me in writing that he was anticipating "school grey 4", after being told he would be a fourth grader this academic year.

I busied myself making sure he had a new, larger, set of school uniforms and shoes and that these were labelled clearly with his name (trusty sewing kit at the ready).

Grey Four is upon us then. We are ready!

Magic Words

All his young life, I have reminded, prompted, and forced Little A over and over again to say, write, or sign please and thank you when appropriate. No matter his challenges, I am determined to bring up my child polite and well mannered as can be, and these "magic words" are just a beginning.

He apologises without prompting quite quickly when he has done or perceives he has done something wrong. But please and thank you are almost always prompted, until quite recently.

A few weeks ago, he must have requested something - a toy, some food, or art materials - and I gave it to him. He typed something on his iPad and showed it to me, while making eye contact and doing the correct sign. The words were "Thank you for munch". As if to make sure I got the message, he quickly found a favourite YouTube video and set it to the point where the speaker was saying "Thank you very much", and played only this line, twice or thrice in a row.

I nearly burst into tears right then and there. That was the first ever time Little A voluntarily thanked me. I hugged him and told him he was most welcome, and that I was so proud of him for being a polite boy and showing me good manners.

A day or so later, the Au Pair reported the same. While Big A and I were out, Little A had thanked her "very munch" as well, and she was thrilled and elated. Until she corroborated my report, Big A didn't really believe this had happened unprompted.

Since then it has become not constant, but quite regular, and not always with written or typed words, but always with definite eye contact and a clear sign. On Little A's making the sign, he expects the person he is thanking to verbalise his gratitude, and then respond verbally.

Thank you, to all the powers that be, for munch. And now, on to please, excuse me, and I beg your pardon. 

Play Date

After the success of Little A's birthday party, a co-parent and I decided to make play dates, something so common among typical kids and so rare among those like ours, a regular thing.

Within the next few weeks, we managed one, at a soft play centre with Little A and his female classmate. She is verbal, and very sweet, and her mum and I are determined to foster bonds between our kids that will hopefully last a lifetime.

After playtime, we sat at a café and had a snack. The two interacted minimally, again, as is typical, but were quite aware of each other. One sat and quietly sipped a drink, while the other gobbled down food and then plugged into an iPad, but they made fleeting eye contact, and smiled to see each other in a setting outside of a classroom.

There is a week of "freedom" before fourth grade starts, so hopefully in this time we can manage some more together time with schoolmates. Or Little A can just enjoy the last week of home time before fourth grade begins on August 1st.

Turning Ten

2007 was a busy year. Apple launched the iPhone (a bandwagon I only reluctantly hopped on in 2015). Amazon released the first Kindle (I waited cautiously until version 2 came along in 2009, to see if it was worth the hype). JK Rowling published the final book in the Harry Potter series.

And my little family came into existence as Little A was born.

This year he enters the double digits. For the first time, he had a party with "friends" - the half dozen fellow ASD boys and girl in his class, plus his cousins. Previously, all parties consisted of mine and Big A's other godchildren, so this one seemed special somehow.

The birthday boy wanted to swim at the club near my parents' house, which was also the venue for my own tenth birthday party (with a guest list consisting of my sisters and two best friends) thirty one years ago. There were four swimming pools and a new room where we had food, cake and balloons.

I hope a good time was had by all, and that this is just the first of many playdates to come with this group. While it would be really fantastic if Little A made some neurotypical friends, there is something to be said for hanging out with fellows who "get" you, or don't care about your quirks because they have their own as well. While interaction might be minimal, you can tell that the kids enjoy being together, and feel comfortable in each other's company. Win. Repeat!

Aussie Adventure, Part 2

With a week to go before our one-year visas expired, Big A and I went back Down Under for a hopefully-not-last hurrah.

Once again, we spent a week in Sydney and Melbourne, but this time we knew where we wanted to go in each city. While the retail scene in Sydney is better, Melbourne can't be beat for nightlife, dining, arts, and culture.

We explored some of the "suburbs" this time, as next trip we hope Little A can accompany us. There is so much he would enjoy, with numerous nearby zoos (including a safari-type adventure), an island filled with penguins, open water whale viewing, and an operating steam train.

When we got back Little A went straight into summer school, a month of morning classes on weekdays which he thoroughly enjoyed, and very much looked forward to attending.

He begins his fifth year at this school in a few weeks, and continues to love it, something we hope does not change in the many years to come.

Birthday Party

Last April, for only the second time ever, Little A was invited to a classmate's birthday party.

When each class only consists of a dozen children, over half of which have limited or no speech, along with social skills challenges, parties (and other social interactive occasions) are a rare thing.

Until he was seven, all of Little A's own birthday celebrations were either held at school, or comprised of cousins and our fellow godchildren.

He has attended parties of cousins and fellow godchildren, but never with more than one or two other special needs kids present. This would have been a first, had Big A known to take him as I was away in Europe.

After arriving a day too late and making my apologies to the birthday celebrant's parents, I fretted that there might be fewer occasions like this in future and he had to have missed this one.

One of the other mums though, whose son had never had a "real" birthday party before, was thrilled to see the kids enjoy themselves, and decided to celebrate her child's birthday a few weeks later in the same place.

This time, I made sure Little A was present. He and his classmates had a grand time, and I gave the parents notice that the next birthday coming would be Little A's, in another month. This time, his party would be made up of classmates, and it would not just take place at school. We look forward to it already.

He, and his classmates, had a grand time.