Meeting the Orchestra

For many years now, perhaps from the time he was in the womb, Little A has had a great love for classical music.

Most recently, he has learnt the sections of the orchestra and all the instruments that comprise it, and has been watching videos of concerts.

Despite all this, he does not feel ready to sit in a proper, dark theatre, and remain in his seat quietly throughout the duration of a show.

Luckily, these days culture can be everywhere. If we lived in a city where buskers abounded (my boy would love Covent Garden and could probably sit there all afternoon) no doubt all of his pocket money would go into their instrument cases. Instead, we search for open rehearsals and sit through sound checks at shopping centers.

Just before Christmas, one of the malls where we have a shop held a series of shows for their 25th anniversary. These musical interludes were open to the public, free of charge.

Little A was thrilled to see the (albeit incomplete) orchestra onstage, and alternately sat and jumped for joy through nearly two hours of music. While the playlist was disappointing, with not a single piece of classical music apart from the opening of Pachelbel's Canon in D which quickly segued into some horrible pop number, he had a grand time.

The holidays will soon be upon us, and he will have three weeks off school, so we will traipse through the city during that time (when I am not drowning in work, that is) in search of more live music. 

First Holy Communion

In a practicing Catholic's life, there are few things more important than receiving the Sacraments. While we have not been regular churchgoers of late, Little A and I say prayers every night, and he likes visiting the chapels at the shopping malls for a bit of quiet.

Despite his challenges, I always hoped my son would be raised in the faith that both my family and Big A's practiced all our lives, so when a few conversations with the school administrator led to the formation of an after-school Catechism class, I was the first parent to sign up.

Throughout the summer and for the entire first semester of this academic year, Little A and about half a dozen of his schoolmates learnt the tenets of the Catholic faith that were needed to attain the next two major Sacraments (after Baptism).

After two lesson days spent at the church preparing for the big event, and plenty of on-the-side training in what I knew would be Little A's biggest challenge - the actual consumption of the Host - it was First Communion Day.

Little A donned his formal wear with minimal fuss, and we were off to the church.

Both sets of grandparents were in proud attendance, and an hour or so later, Little A was a bona fide First Communicant. We couldn't have been prouder, and in his own way, I am sure he too felt the sense of accomplishment.

Since then, he has wanted to go to church (and attend Mass) daily. I take him as often as we are able, and we definitely go on Sundays. While there are always challenges, spending that little bit of time in quiet contemplation, regardless of what one might believe, always makes things seem much less insurmountable. 

Hawaiian Halloween

Because it seems he cannot resist an airline seat sale, Big A booked another trip for us - to visit his brother in Hawaii.

Since they do not yet have visas, nor do we feel he can manage a 10 hour flight and massive time difference, Little A and the Au Pair are spending the time we are away at my parents' place. Halloween is big in their area, and Little A has enjoyed trick or treating the past two years.

Hawaii seems to have become the Halloween capital of the USA, if not the world, and we were properly warned, so we came prepared. Apart from our costumes, my main goal was to acquire a suntan, which was achieved over the course of the week, with much careful application of skin protection and tan enhancing products.

An unexpected and wonderful surprise was that one of my all-time favourite musicians, Sting, would be playing a one-night concert at the Oahu Arena. We got tickets online, and one more item has been ticked off my bucket list, making my 40th year all the more memorable.

We have, again, traveled much this year. While next year only has two trips on the cards, we are truly grateful for these opportunities to experience these amazing places.

Dog Days

My son is very particular about the dogs he chooses to befriend. I am glad for this, as it keeps us from worrying that he will just approach a possibly aggressive animal.

His breeds of choice are labradors and golden retrievers, which happen to be the most child-friendly types, and my favourites as well. I dream of one day getting him a service dog, but that will be a long time coming yet, as we need a house and the enlarged shoebox we currently live in.

Since Big A is allergic, Little A's only interactions with canines are the neighbours' pets and the occasional work dog. My sister and her family have golden retrievers, but in all his years of existence, Little A has never been to their house to play with them.

Then last Sunday, at birthday lunch for my mum, my sister's family turned up with two of their three dogs.

The adults sat at the table while the cousins alternated between eating and spending time outside with the pooches. Other children came up as well, and played with the very friendly animals.

Little A hopes for more dog visits, so this upcoming half-term I have asked my nephew and niece to bring the dogs over again, when Little A spends time at his grandparents'.

Conducting the Orchestra

Little A has always loved classical music. Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, Haydn and Vivaldi are names he knows well, as he has been hearing their work since he was in the womb. He might not be able to spell Tchaikovsky, but he certainly knows most of the music from Swan Lake and the Nutcracker Suite.

Several years ago, my sister gave him a violin that my nieces had outgrown. It was something he adored, along with the other toy instruments in his music box, and still does. However, it was only recently that he started rereading a long time favourite storybook, and this time he learnt all the parts of the orchestra.

Each time Big A and I have travelled this year, we have been asked to bring back specific instruments from the brass or woodwind sections. Since Little A is not yet having proper lessons and real instruments are huge, heavy and expensive, he makes do with toy versions.

In the last few weeks, he has discovered the joy of conducting "concerts". In the evenings, he arranges the chairs, assigns us instruments, and plays excerpts on his iPad. We "play" along, and bow at the end to applause.

We are pleased with this initiated social interaction, and look forward to building it into proper music lessons, more interaction with peers, and increased opportunities for communication. Music is the food of love, indeed. Play on! 

Singapore Swing

It's been a good three years since Little A was last on a plane. At age 5, he absolutely couldn't bear clapping, and two consecutive trips made that summer were a real challenge as he was always on high alert and would melt down at the slightest provocation.

We made a lot of road trips with him in the years in between, and he took it upon himself to desensitize himself to applause, so much that these days his favorite activity is "conducting" pretend concerts with lots of clapping and cheering at the end.

Since Big A and I have been on so many overseas trips these past two years, I asked if we could please take Little A somewhere. He agreed to a Singapore trip with much trepidation, and on the condition that the Au Pair came along.

We booked an apartment in the city for three nights, bought seats on the flagship carrier that has long been known in the expat circles to have the most accommodating crews for special needs children,  girded our loins, and packed our bags.

I had confidence in our son, but was naturally apprehensive, and enlisted the help of his teachers and therapists to prepare him for the trip. I saved his favourite YouTube videos for offline viewing, prepared pre-cut paper and markers for in-flight desktop activities, and had his snacks, books, and toys on hand.

D Day came, and Little A exceeded all our expectations at every turn. He got through the airport and tolerated the plane ride, despite being extremely anxious, without a single tantrum or tear, and when we entered the flat that was to be home for three nights settled down instantly and never wanted to leave.

Our activities were things we knew he would enjoy, and one big question mark on the last day, when we were to meet up with his godmother and uncle, Big A's sister and brother in law, who lived in Singapore.

The Night Safari, Singapore Zoo, and River Safari were like dreams come true for him as he saw and fed his favourite animals. Then came Challenge Day - Universal Studios.

Neither Big A nor I has ever been fond of theme parks, and as children we were never taken to any. But we figured it might be something to try, to see how Little A would react. We were fully prepared to buy tickets and get a refund, or to spend a few minutes and then leave.

Little A, once again, surprised us. He entered the noisy, sensory overloading main gate, and typed on his iPad, "wait brave". We sat on a bench by the turnstiles to wait for him to gather the courage to move into the main park. No tears, no tantrums.

After about 15 minutes, and two quick recon walks by myself and the Au Pair to "check" for possible scary things, Little A shielded his eyes, kept on his earphones, and walked down the main street.

Slowly, we made our way through the park, always at his side, reassuring him that nothing would happen unless he wanted it to.

By the time we got to the more child-friendly zones, he had relaxed enough to sit down with a book while Big A and the Au Pair went on a ride. We had lunch, then Big A and I went on a scary roller coaster while Little A and the Au Pair sat in the shade to wait for us. We sat in a cafe and he watched the Sesame Street puppet show through the window, and then we headed for his favourite toy store as a treat.

So, challenge day was a complete success. The flight home was uneventful, and the days since have been spent looking at the photos, finding videos of the Zoo, and looking forward to the next time we visit.

Building Blocks

 

One main challenge for individuals with autism is expressing creativity. They are known to be amazing mimics, and clever teachers and parents can use this as a stepping stone towards individual expression.

Unlike other boys his age, Little A was never particularly interested in Lego. He liked the ready-made Playmobil sets, where you just had to assemble the land and add the characters. Creating his own creatures, worlds or objects, not so much.

But recently, at his favourite toy store, he has been sitting at the Lego table, first recreating 2D images, and occasionally asking for help in adding more elements. I was tasked with building a moon and stars out of four sided bricks, and I am not sure I entirely succeeded, but my son was happy enough with my block figures.

He is now also past the stage of putting things in his mouth, hallelujah! So the next items on his wish list will be his own sets of bricks and a base mat. I look forward to seeing the worlds he will create.