Live and Learn

Little A loves the iPad. Many mothers tout it as the ultimate electronic babysitter, keeping children quiet in restaurants and such, but we appreciate it even more than the average parent, because it is shaping up to be an excellent communication tool for autistic or nonverbal children.

This month is Autism Month and in honor of this, there are numerous free apps available, all of which Big A has downloaded. Little A enjoys learning, and some of our friends have asked about these applications as their children only use the iPad to play games.

As with anything, we limit Little A's time with this gadget, and he has learned how to ask for it, and how not to be angry if it isn't his turn. While traditional teaching methods may still be the most effective, there's no denying that these modern tools are a great help. We're very glad for this one.

Skills Test

Ah, summer. Here indeed, just in time for Easter. Sweltering days and still evenings, but so far the temperatures have not soared to the heights of last year, thankfully.

What is called Holy Week in the Philippines are the few days preceding Easter Sunday. Holy Thursday and Good Friday are always holidays in this predominantly Catholic country, and unlike other holidays, on these two days shopping malls are closed. Hooray! This means a real holiday for me.

Little A picked this week to fall sick - probably good timing since it was also his week off school and therapy. He had an unexplained four day fever that had us worried, but finally (fingers crossed!) disappeared last night.

Otherwise, he's been having a busy summer - swimming every day after morning class or therapy, and keeping active indoors. He's into alphabet letters, reading and words now, so I recently tested his skills by writing animal names in crayon on the floor and had him put matching figures by the words by reading them. He did every one correctly, with no help or prompting.

He's also becoming more communicative with his gestures. Tapping on my cheek with his fingertip now seems to mean "please" as well as "sorry", and prompting me to smile and say "it's okay" tells him that I've accepted his apology.

Speech still to come, but this is improvement, and we are glad.

Summertime

Normally, this time of the year in this part of the world is unbearable. We can hardly step outdoors for fear of being fried, and the electric bills soar with air-conditioning units going full blast, all day long.

This year though, whether it is due to climate change or La Nina, summer is perfect. Admittedly, the sun has only come out this week (when we are usually sweltering by mid-February), but it is not as intense as April sun usually is.

Little A is in school at lunchtime thrice a week, so I use those two hours to work, walking to and from the little shop. If it was a "regular" summer, the walk would be akin to crossing a desert at high noon. But now, it's pleasant. Sometimes sunny, sometimes overcast.

As soon as we get home from school, into the pool we go. I can work on my summertime Ts - toning and tanning - while towing Little A around the pool. Then comes late lunch, naptime for Little A, and back to work for me.

Summer is shaping up beautifully. Hope yours is too.

Driving the Mummy Mobile

I call it The Tank. A friend calls hers The Behemoth, though I have a feeling hers is larger than mine. No, we aren't using euphemisms for any body parts. We're talking gas guzzlers here.

A few weeks ago, my faithful car of ten years was sold. I loved that car. It was a colour one could never miss, meaning I never had to wander through parking lots just to find it, and it took me everywhere I needed safely - to and from work every day, on errands, and to every doctor's appointment when I was pregnant, including the trip to the hospital on the day Little A was born. Best of all, it got great mileage.

Little A loved the car too - he picked it out among others in a crowded lot, marked orange as his first ever favourite colour, and always chose the little car over daddy's big black truck when asked.

Still, there were signs that the orange car needed to be replaced. In the last few years, servicing costs were through the roof. Major parts needed changing. Rattling sounds wouldn't go away. Luckily, our friendly mechanic agreed to buy it for his daughter, since he knew what a great car it really was and had the ability to fix it up relatively cheaply. So what started as a servicing trip ended up being the last time I saw my little car. And I didn't even get to properly say goodbye.

I wanted another fuel-efficient car to replace this one, but given the budget we had for a "new" old one, there was none to be found. Available little cars were in poor condition, miles racked up were astronomical, or they were just as old as my orange one, meaning the same costly repairs would be needed.

Then Big A found a great deal. On a car for himself. One that was old, but in wonderful condition and with a ridiculously small number on its odometer. It was a car we could sell easily in a few years and still make good money on.

So now Big A had two cars, and I had none. The big black truck suddenly became my car, and in one fell swoop I went from carbon credit conscious girl to suburban mother in tank.

The truck is large. It keeps us safe. Little A and I are like two peas rattling around in it, and because it has so many areas to explore (a large roomy trunk accessible by climbing over the backseat), he is hardly ever in his car seat. He also insists on riding his Little Truck inside the big one whenever possible.

It is not hard to drive, and not that hard to parallel park - the turning radius is more of a hindrance than the size. But it consumes fuel frighteningly. We now get less than half the mileage Little Orange Car did. And with everything that's going on in Libya, petrol prices are sky high. So we need to make adjustments to make up for this sudden size increase in our family's carbon footprint.

Anyone with any suggestions on how to do that, please send them over.

I Am Mother, Hear Me Roar

Much fuss is being made these days over a book, mainly because of the reactions this article sparked. Parents, children and parenting experts worldwide agree, disagree, and air their two cents' worth.

As a mother and a daughter, I think there are some fine things to be said about discipline and instilling a good work/study ethic in children. These days everything is so different from the time of my own childhood: instant communication versus snail mail, a worldwide marketplace and wealth of information at one's fingertips that keep one from having to even stand up, let alone discover patience and the value of looking for something in a library, and, thankfully, a growing awareness that everyone is unique and some are more special than others and need extra help.

At the end of it all though, in order to raise an individual you can be proud of, one you feel will make as best a contribution to society that nurture will allow, you do what works for you. This may be based on how you yourself were raised, on what you read or on what others say. Or a combination of all three. Every child is different, so every parenting style is too. I know mothers who treat each of their children differently in order to obtain the same results.

Tiger-raising is not strange in this part of the world, with a significant component of the population being partly or fully Chinese and many of the country's movers and shakers having three letter last names. One of Little A's friends is barely three and has daily lessons in four languages, tests every week and elocution programs where they recite nursery rhymes. In preschool. Her Filipino mother (the girl's father is Chinese Filipino) needed more adjustment to this way of learning that the child did, but both now seem to be doing fine.

Different strokes for different folks. One thing we mothers all have in common though, is the fierce determination to protect our children. No matter what anyone might say, there is a tiger in every mother.

Thinking About the End

While Little A napped this afternoon, Big A and I watched a very sad movie on tv. It was an end of the world story, but this time America didn't save the day. Several children from around the globe were chosen, though, to be spared and continue the human race, presumably on another planet.

It was the story of a parent's love for his child more than anything, and it made my heart ache because the little boy reminded us of our own. It was hopeful though, in an incredibly sad way, and we took it to mean that if anything should happen to us, our boy would not be left uncared for or alone in the world.

This came hot on the heels of a very good friend and her husband flying into town unknown to all but very few family members and friends, because he is after more aggressive cancer treatments that are not being offered in their home country since he, at not even 35 years of age, despite being fit and reasonably active, was suddenly diagnosed with stage 4 cancer barely four months ago.

It is a shocking tragedy when someone is struck with any sickness, but even more so when they are someone you know and care about, and someone who should have many more years ahead of them.

We've spent the past month researching alternative treatments for him, and of course hope and pray that they will work. He is strong and positive, and determined to fight what will probably be the most challenging battle of his life. We stand beside him to give him whatever support we can.

Finally, a little note of sympathy for the people of Japan.

Birthday Season

The month of March is always a merry one. From the first day to (nearly) the last, there is a birthday of someone near or dear. One niece, one nephew, two godchildren, a sister-in-law, about 10 good friends and finally Big A and myself.

Cake bakers are busy and restaurants do good business. Ideally my little shop will too. Evenings are studded with dinners and drinks, and weekends are packed with children's parties, some of which overlap and necessitate rushing from one to another.

This year, one near friend and one very far away but very dear one are having babies this month. More March celebrations for the years to come.

Happy Birthday, fellow Martians!