Alphabetical Order

Midyear is upon us, and in a few weeks Little A enters the third grade. His curriculum will certainly be modified, but with continued hard work by both student and teachers, hopefully he will not lag too far behind his typical peers. Apart from academic progress, he needs improvements in behaviour and social interaction.

We recently received the results of a most thorough assessment of his current capabilities and weaknesses. The written report was packed with technical jargon and testing statistics, with the end result telling us what we more or less already knew, but was still a blow to see on paper.

Little A is in the moderate part of the autism spectrum, nonverbal but able to communicate through gestures, writing, and typing. He is also intellectually impaired, and possibly has ADHD in addition to sensory integration dysfunction.

I'd like to think news like that, presented in the form of a text-dense, half-inch thick evaluation report in small font would floor any parent, but then perhaps I am less strong than the average special needs mum.

No matter the results, we must soldier on. Thankfully we have found the perfect school for Little A, and despite all the setbacks there are improvements, slowly but surely.

Just this afternoon, on finishing a most inspiring book which might still be the only autism resource title written by a Filipino for fellow autism parents, I checked on Little A, who was playing quietly in his room.

To my surprise, I found that he had unearthed an old set of word cards, and arranged a number of them in alphabetical order, writing in the letters that were not represented on the floor in between the carefully laid out cards.

A day or so later, at the toy store, he lined up a row of animals. I asked if he didn't want to group them by type as he usually does (jungle, savannah, farm, ocean), but he shook his head firmly.

As ever, I took a photo. It was only on closer inspection much later that I saw the animals, too, were lined up alphabetically.

He has been attending summer school for three hours a day over the past two weeks, but I only enrolled him in Catechism and Filipino Language lessons, as well as his regular Speech and Occupational Therapy. Still, in between classes or when I take him to school early, he joins the pre-Grade 3 class. This must be where he learned to alphabetize, albeit indirectly. Upon asking the teachers, none of them claim to have worked on this skill with my son, so perhaps he's also just taken it upon himself. I can never tell what goes on in my child's mind, but I do know there is a lot happening in there. Maybe one day he will be able to articulate it in a way we can all understand.

Hats Off to Second Grade

It's hard to believe that Little A has now finished the second grade. Rainy season has come to the Philippines, and so has the "summer" holidays for Little A and schoolmates.

There are two weeks of freedom, then a month of optional summer school, followed by two more free weeks, and the academic year starts properly on 1 August.

We wasted no time, and made the most of the fortnight immediately following the end-of-term show by going off to the mountains for five days, then filling up Little A's next week with non-technological activities. 

I had to work most days, but managed to squeeze in a few trips with Little A to the nearby children's centres, while the Au Pair took him to a learning library while I was manning the shop.

In less than a month comes another major event - Little A's 9th birthday. He alternates between wanting a magic show and a party at a play centre, so a decision must be made quite soon.

In the meantime, he goes to school on half days, while getting acquainted with a new set of teachers to prepare him for Grade 3. Onward, ho!

Discovering Dessert

Tonight, for the first time in his life at nearly nine years of age, Little A asked if he could have some ice cream.

Over the past two months or so, Big A has been encouraging him to take licks of his nightly popsicles, and amazingly, Little A seems to like this strawberry flavoured Korean ice cream.

This evening, when I told him it was time to brush his teeth, he walked up to his dad and verbalized the "Ah" sound, while scribbling letters on the couch.

I asked him to write them down properly and lo and behold, the boy wanted a popsicle. He sat in a chair by the window and licked away until he'd had enough for the night. We returned the rest of the bar to the freezer for next time.

It will be interesting to see where this interest might lead. At the moment, chocolate still disgusts him, so much that when he sees me eating it he walks up, wipes my mouth very carefully and throughly with a paper napkin, then smells my lips before agreeing to kiss me. I love chocolate, and Big A only eats "white" desserts, so we will see which side of the tree our apple will fall. My bet is on dad's end.

Every Day is Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day again, and while I am grateful every day for my gift of Little A, our family life is not without its challenges.

Just last week, due to a onset of increased behavioural issues (hitting teachers, and occasionally classmates), Little A has been removed from his regular integrated classroom and placed in an IEP room by himself (with a teacher, of course). 

The findings so far are that the lack of other distractions has given Little A better focus on his work, longer consistent working times, and a gradual decrease in behavioural issues due to the absence of previous triggers.

He had just completed a complete psychoeducational assessment in April, and while we haven't yet received the detailed written report, we did have a team discussion, and the issues that arose were his sometimes aggressive behaviour, and the possibility that he might also have ADHD. 

His doctor hopes that the school's 6 month behaviour plan results in enough of an improvement that we can rule out the use of medication for now. Doctor is hesitant to medicate mainly because Little A is underweight, despite the enormous quantities of food he consumes daily. I am apprehensive becuase what parent wants their child medicated for the rest of his life? 

He has many schoolmates and therapy classmates who are on medication and have noted significant improvements in behaviour, focus, etc. But I still hold out for self regulated behavioural management, at least until science convinces us that there really is a chemical cocktail that will significantly improve his quality of life. 

And so the struggle continues. No family is without challenges, I am well aware, but for those who are faced with bigger obstacles, there are also more fulfilling rewards. We certainly see these with every small achievement. And so we soldier on.

Artist at Work

In the last six or so months, Little A has been drawing and writing a lot. This is a major thing for a child with delayed fine motor skills and motor planning issues. For years, his pencils, crayons, markers, and other drawing and colouring implements (apart from paints) lay unused in a couple of drawers.

Then came the day he came across two boys on YouTube who had drawn and illustrated their own basic picture books. After watching the videos hundreds of times, I encouraged him to make his own "books," and showed him he had all the tools needed to do that.

Since then, we have stopped visiting toy stores and started frequenting stationery shops. Instead of an iDevice at the table, Little A now wields paper and coloured pens. Suddenly he could stay seated in restaurants for the length of time it took us (and not just him) to eat a meal.

More than that, his fine motor skills have come along, as well as his creativity. I do hope this art hobby continues and develops into a lifelong one. Who knows, one day Big A and I may find that we have raised the next Van Gogh?!

European Tour - An Amazing Race

Thanks to a booming local economy and a lot of hard work on Big A's part, we have done quite well these last eighteen months. From living hand to mouth in the leanest years, we now have savings set aside in a trust for Little A, and have been able to do a little extra spending of our own.

As a result of frequent airfare sales and travel websites offering great deals, we've managed to do a fair bit of travel in the last year and a half, and feel this is the best way to enjoy that precious free time and hard-earned money.

This year marks our tenth wedding anniversary, my 40th birthday and Big A's 45th, so we decided to celebrate with a tour of Europe.

Big A did all the planning; I just sat back and enjoyed the ride for all but the last two days. He arranged for us to see eight cities in fourteen days, and plotted out detailed itineraries for each. We packed our bags and entrusted Little A into the care of the Au Pair, both sets of grandparents, and his teachers, and off we flew.

First week was Italy: Rome, Florence and Venice. Then Barcelona and Lisbon, Amsterdam and London. I had hoped to spend more time in Barcelona, but did get a feel of the city in the two days we were there.

It all went flawlessly until the very last day, when our flight home was delayed by two hours, but even that was quickly resolved by the airline.

The weather went from pleasantly sunny to quite cold and rainy, and I came home with a cold, but we had seen a significant portion of one part of the world, and feel much richer for having done so. Next up, in August, is Australia!

Going to the Dentist

The search for the perfect paediatric dentist is about as challenging as finding the holy grail of hairdressers. I have yet to enounter the stylist who can turn my locks from drab to fab convincingly enough for me to follow him or her to the ends of the earth. Because I would, if I found that person.

Anyway, back to Little A's teeth. When he was a newly diagnosed toddler, we tried a dentist who claimed to specialise in special needs patients. After the initial examination, he handed me a sheaf of papers and asked me to have our paediatrician sign them to confirm that it was okay for Little A to be sedated every time he needed his teeth cleaned or a filling done.

I took the papers and put them in a drawer, and never returned to that dentist as I refuse to accept that the only way to clean the teeth of a special needs child is to put them under general anaesthesia. 

A few years later, Little A discovered a fantastic dollhouse at what turned out to be a dental clinic next to the centre where he had therapy thrice a week. This dentist said her strategy would be to get him used to sitting in the chair and opening his mouth for a dental exam by practicing a few minutes at a time until he could sit through an entire procedure. 

I liked both this strategy and the dentist, only the therapy centre moved locations soon afterwards and we have not been back since.

Fast forward another few years, and Little A's permanent teeth are coming in. A children's dental clinic had opened down the road from one of my shops, and I heard good things from several parents, so we decided to try it. For months now, he has been doing an oral therapy involving a vibrating brush similar to an electric toothbrush, so I figured he was ready for a proper dental cleaning.

At the clinic, we met the Ninja Dentist. She showed Little A all the tools and let him touch them, as well as introducing a restraining device some kids use, that works for him as he feels better being "squashed" with tight hugs and between heavy duvets. 

Her hands were light and lightning fast as she scraped, brushed and painted fluoride on Little A's teeth in less than 15 minutes, and he cried but did not resist.

Since he is a new dental patient and his teeth have a tendency to discolour, we need to come back quarterly for fluoride treatments. I don't mind this as more frequent visits will get Little A used to the procedure more quickly, and hopefully within a year it will be as routine as getting a haircut and cutting his nails, both of which started with screaming, resistance, and required multiple people restraining him, but are now tolerated with minimal fuss. 

Since then, I have visited the Ninja Dentist myself, as they also work on adult teeth. She is a gem, and we plan to stick with her for as long as we have teeth.